Introduction
Security Advisor: What if the worst-case scenario happened today? What if your gut feeling about someone wasn’t just a hunch but a warning you ignored? Most parents know the anxiety that comes with their child’s relationships, but how many of us have ever really looked at the person their child is spending time with?
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Think about it:
Do you know the full name of that boyfriend? His address? The make and model of his car? What if something went wrong right now? Not just “teen drama,” but something real, dangerous. Every single day, countless families are left in the dark, scrambling for answers, wishing they had taken the time to ask the right questions. I’m not talking about paranoia. I’m talking about being prepared. Because once the crisis hits, it’s too late. And in that moment, you’ll wish you knew more than just a name.
Let me explain the risk.
This is where most people make a critical mistake, and this is where the risk truly lies. As a parent, there are plenty of reasons you might not approve of your son/daughter’s new girlfriend/boyfriend. Maybe he or she is too old, maybe he/she gives off the wrong vibe, or maybe you just have a gut feeling that something isn’t right. These feelings shouldn’t be ignored, but rather should serve as a reason to get to know her/him better. Gathering as much information as possible about this person could one day mean the difference between safety and tragedy.
As parents, we argue with our children about life choices because we love them and want to protect them from harm. While this instinct is natural, we often focus on the wrong battles and overlook the real dangers that lurk in everyday life.
Imagine this scenario:
Your son/daughter introduces you to a girlfriend/boyfriend you instinctively dislike. You’re uneasy, but because he/she’s happy and you remember what young love feels like, you reluctantly allow her/him to go on a date with him or her. He/She’s excited, dressed up, and ready for the evening. Her/his curfew is set for 22:00, and the boyfriend/girlfriend (Mrs./Mr. Wrong) reassures you that your child will be home on time. Maybe he/she even brings flowers and seems polite. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself that he/she’s growing up, and try to push aside your concerns.
But then 22:00 passes.
Then 23:00. By midnight, you’ve called her/his phone repeatedly with no answer. Panic sets in as you realize your gut feeling may have been right all along. After all the ‘I shouldn’t haves’ and ‘what ifs’ go through your mind, now the real problem emerges; you know almost nothing about the boy/girl who took your son/daughter out. You dismissed the idea of her/him having a girlfriend/boyfriend, seeing no reason to get to know him/her because you believed, “It will never work between them anyway.” Did you ever get their full name? His/her address? His/her phone number? Do you know what car he/she drives, or even the license plate number? Do you have a recent photo of him/her? Have you kept updated pictures of your son/daughter? What about his/her friends; do you have their contact details? In this moment of crisis, where do you even begin? What do you tell the police?
Without meaning to, you allowed your child to leave with a complete stranger, the very thing we teach kids never to do.
Now, endless possibilities flood your mind. Were they in an accident? Was she/he kidnapped? Were they hijacked? Or did she/he willingly run away, unaware of the risks ahead?
Yes, she/he might arrive home at 21:59, safe and sound. She/he might even marry this person one day. But there’s also a chance that she/he won’t come home at all, that she/he could be hurt, assaulted, trafficked, or worse. This isn’t about paranoia; it’s about being realistic. These scenarios happen daily, and thinking “it won’t happen to me” is wishful thinking at best. Maybe it won’t, but if it does, then what?
A Real-Life Nightmare (True story)
There was once a family who warned their teenage daughter (15) about her older boyfriend. Despite their concerns, she continued seeing him. Her parents disapproved and refused to let him into their home. They didn’t bother to learn much about him, convinced the relationship wouldn’t last. One morning, the girl’s mother went to wake her for school, only to find an empty bed and a letter: she had run away with him to start a new life. The parents were devastated. They had no idea where to look, no contact information, and no knowledge of his background. Days turned into months, and years later, their daughter was still missing. She could be alive or dead, safe or in danger, desperate to return home but unable to do so. The not knowing was the worst part, described by those who have been through it as “worse than hell itself.”
A parent is always a parent, no matter if their child is 15 or 25.
I would rather be the overprotective, annoying, and persistent parent than the one left crying at night, drowning in endless “what ifs.” It is far better to be too cautious than to live with regret.
So, ask yourself, do you really know the people your children spend time with? If not, maybe it’s time to start paying closer attention before it’s too late.
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Article written by Andre Mundell, Security Advisor. Click on Advisor to read more on independent security risk consultants.
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